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Lord Noel's Horoscopic Tips

Whatto! Peeps...

Due to the powers divested in me by the 'Spirit of Champagne Passed'...
I find that I have been given the ability to predict the future for some lucky individuals...

Today it's the turn of Cancer!

Cancer. Tomorrow you return home to find your wife burnt to death after suffering from spontaneous human combustion. But you'll smile through the tears when you remember how much you love her crackling.
You're welcome!

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel