Lord Noel on Animal Lovers

Whatto! Peeps...

This is my Uncle Reginald....he is a Vet

On the night that my uncle Reginald's divorce proceedings began...
...he came home with a sheep...
...and his wife took this picture of him.
She laughed and said "Whatever are you up to Reginald?"
...to which he replied "This is the cow I have to sleep with every time you get one of your headaches!"
His wife, concerned by her husbands state of mind, ventured..."But Reggie...that's not a cow...
...that's a SHEEP!"
To which Uncle Reginald shouted "I'm talking to the bloody sheep!"

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel on a Technological Breakthrough

Whatto! Peeps...

Those wonderful Chinese people have been at it again...
When I say 'at it' I mean inventing things...
This time it's a marvelous new gadget which is called an iTit.
"What" you may ask "is an iTit?"...
Well I'm here to tell you that it's a bra implant...
...that can play music!
The iTit will initially cost somewhere between £300-£600 depending on cup and speaker size.
This invention has been hailed as a social breakthrough too...
...as women have long complained about men staring at their breasts...
...and never listening to them!

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel 

Lord Noel on The Wisdom Of Older Personages

Whatto! Peeps...

Women will realise it too...but apparently they weren't at this particular meeting.

My lovely old Grandmother was very wise (I'm told I take after her), and her face was incredibly creased and lined (I'm told I don't take after her) so much so, that she often reminded me of an old native American (or as we preferred in those days 'an Indian').
She was very outspoken and would often share what was on her mind about important issues of the day.
I'll always remember sitting beside her when I was young...
...hoping she would tell me something important so that I too could feel grown up and clever like her.
One day, as she was supping slowly on her favourite glass filled with bottled Guinness...
...and drawing deeply on an unfiltered Woodbine cigarette...
...which I had bought for her as 'singles' taken from an opened packet...
...and sold to me by a man from a van which was permanently parked at the end of her road...
(I was ten at the time)...
...she told me....
...in her beautiful Dublin accent which gave her voice a singing quality as she spoke...

"Lord Noel" she said...

..."In olden days a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking...

...now heaven knows, anything goes...

...now feck off!"

And my goodness! How right she was!

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel Rocks!...Again!

Whatto! Peeps...

So it finally arrived!
The High Voltage Rock Festival in Victoria Park London took place last weekend...
...and yours truly was there too....

...to lie in the sunshine...

...and stand amongst all the head bangers...

...listening to Rock at it's most live...
It was the first time I'd been but I will definitely be going again...
...the more mature patrons making this a friendly and welcoming gig to be part of.
Of the three main stages I spent most time around the Prog Rock stage...

...although I headed over to watch some of the acts at the Main stage too.
I had a short look at the Thrash Metal stage...
...but it's really not my thing.
By the end of the day I'd consumed several take aways...

...and pints of beer...
...they had these brilliant back packs with chilled beer in that you serve through a nozzle...

...and IDEAL XMAS PRESENT for someone special!
And although I'd had a few...
..I definitely wasn't seeing things when this group of Morris Dancers rocked on up to the beer tent and did their thing!

Proof (if it was needed) that Morris Dancing is VERY Rock n Roll!
The last act on was Dream Theater who did a great set...

And as I finally dragged my swollen and blistered feet away to the nearest tube station...
...my heart felt good....
...it was a rocking good day!

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel Gets An Idea!

Whatto! Peeps...

If, like me, you are incredibly intelligent and witty....
...but you wish that other people would recognise this fact...
...let me offer you this FREE advice:

You can easily convince other people that you are a genius, full of great ideas by simply attaching a light bulb to the top of your head!

 

You're welcome!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel knows oil get over it

 Whatto! Peeps...

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Shweta Basu Prasad